About Kate
Kate is from in Syracuse, New York, where she grew up and later went to nursing school, graduating from a two-year program. Kate began working at age 19, she’s now worked as a nurse for over 20 years. Around 7 years into her career, Kate found herself as a patient due to some health issues that arose. That experience put her into the shoes of the people she had served, offering an entirely new perspective. This got Kate interested in topics such as end-of-life care, hospice care, palliative care, and the like. She felt as though those disciplines were where the most focus was placed on respecting a patient’s agency and self-determination.
After this, she turned her focus to hospice care, beginning work in the field in 2016 and fulfilling roles as a nurse, a hospice educator, a liaison between the hospice agency and the LGBTQ community, and an educator for clinicians learning about culturally competent care.
In 2020, Kate took a course on becoming an end-of-life doula, or death doula, which inspired her to found Constellations of Care, dedicated to providing support for those reaching the end of their lives. She is incredibly passionate about normalizing discussion about death and the end-of-life process, describing how the more we talk about it, the easier it becomes.
Kate now resides in Los Angeles with her wife and cat, and spends her free time engaging in her other passion, art.
How did you begin working with older adults?
When working as a critical care nurse, Kate was tasked with caring for many patients recovering from open-heart surgery and similar procedures. The demographic that she worked with was largely older adults. She described working with older adults as “the most unexpected delight of [her] career,” realizing that after working with older adults in this setting, she didn’t want to work with anyone else. “It’s an honor to work with people who have lived more life than you and have so much to share,” Kate says.
What is a death doula?
A death doula can be a great many things, but at its most basic Kate defines a death doula as “a non-medical support person for end-of-life specifically, prior to death, through death, and after death.” Each doula is different; some may choose to focus more on spiritual care, others on alternative funeral practices, but above all a death doula is someone to walk alongside individuals as they begin to process the end of their lives.
Kate not only works with individuals at the end of their lives, but their loved ones and caregivers as well. She said that caregivers are often the ones that initially reach out for support. Much of the work she does with caregivers is preparing them for what they may see as their loved one reaches the end of their life, such as changes in appetite, in attitude, and others. Doulas may offer respite for caregivers, spending time with the client while the primary caregiver takes time for themselves or other tasks.
What have been some of the biggest takeaways you’ve had from working with people at the end of their lives?
“What remains important throughout the duration of a life,” Kate says, “ it’s really interesting to spend time with people who have lived enough life to really know what’s important to them and what brings their life meaning.” While it is different for every individual, Kate said that there are often commonalities, such as the importance of being surrounded by loved ones and having the opportunity to spend time with them.
What is the most important thing older adults should know about your area of expertise?
“A little bit of planning can go a really long way— if we aren’t talking about death, then we aren’t planning for it.” Kate believes that the end of life should be a time for rest; a time for being taken care of and a time to connect with loved ones. More often than not, however, it becomes a time of stress, worry, and big decisions. It is easy to become overwhelmed by all of the tasks that present themselves at the end of life, and even easier to lose track of the things that are meaningful to us during this time. This is why Kate is dedicated to helping individuals pre-plan for the end of their lives, creating advance medical directives, and other tasks necessary for easily and peacefully closing out affairs at the end of life. She describes it as “a loving act for your future self and those that love you.”
What can individuals do right away to make their end-of-life process better?
One of the most important things Kate recommends is appointing a decision maker for the end of life. Take the time to have a conversation with this person about what gives your life meaning, and fully equip them with the understanding of yourself and your desires necessary to make the best decisions for you at the end of your life.
Kate believes that it is never too early to have an end-of-life plan. It is important to ask yourself what you want the end of your life to look like: what environment do you want to be in? Who do you want to care for you? What foods bring you comfort? What music do you want played? What material should your bedding be? And many other important questions that may slip our minds as we reach the end of our lives.
What do you want for yourself for the future?
“My hope for my future is that I have a really loving, supportive network of people around me, that I have also contributed to their care and loving them.” For as long as possible, Kate hopes to be connected to the things that give her life meaning: spending time with loved ones, making art, singing, laughing, and enjoying the simple sensory pleasures of being in a human body.
To learn more about Kate’s work and Constellations of Care, please visit https://constellations.care/
Pallas Care BLOG 